The Ellusive Cure

Unfortunately i have been struck down with a very common ailment. This 'sickness' forces me to throw up at random, fall asleep at the drop of a hat, become obsessive over every ache and twinge that my body makes, gain weight at a phenomenal speed and eat weird things that a normal person wouldn't think of eating. Yep, i'm pregnant. Again.
And with that has come the dreaded morning sickness. Just imagine that you have been on a ride at a fair ground.....a ride that make you go round and round and round and round and round(feeling sick yet?). How are you feeling when you get off? Thats what i fell like 24/7. Nice huh? Oh yes, its a lot of fun. The only problem is that there is no cure, other then giving birth or taking some nice strong drugs which apparently i can't get here from my dr so i have to put up with it.
So i've stocked up on supplies - crackers, every ginger product known to mankind, lemon fizzy and tic tacs. I even have those bands you put on your wrist. But nothing really works. I keep heaving and feeling like i've been hit by a truck. But i've lost a kilo(2lbs) so that a bonus.

This time we have decided not to tell people that i am pregnant. Other then the whole internet world of course! So, by doing that i will have saved myself from countless people telling me to just eat crackers...thats what they did and it was fine. Yeah, well whatever. Crackers do nothing, OK!!! If your not careful i will shove those crackers down your throat if you make one more stupid suggestion!
Ok so i might never say or do that, but who knows what a sick hormonal woman might do.

When i was pregnant with my son Ethan it was ok because i wasn't working. I was just at home all day wallowing in my sickness. I could lay in bed all day if i wanted to and i did. I was sicker with him then i am now so i think i was justified. But now i have a 2 year old to run after. And he's a very active 2 year old. My husband has been on holidays for the past week so its been good. Of course i only found out that i was pregnant on Friday - when i threw up and thought well maybe i was pregnant(how on earth did that happen?!)so its been great to have him here for at least the 4 days before he goes back to work tomorrow. Then i'll be in for it. Just me and the toilet and the boy. Fun times!

So i'm about 6 weeks which means if i go on my previous experience with morning sickness...i've got about .......34 weeks of it left. Ahhh the joy of pregnancy.

the colour purple......and red.....

My favourite colour as a child was purple. And do you know why it was purple? two words - Ninja Turtles!! yep, Donatello was my favourite Ninja Turtle, so purple became my fav colour. Maybe it was weird for a girl to be so into Ninja Turtles but I was also into Barbies and dolls....matchbox cars(i had a green Jag) and bike tracks and climbing mountains and having water fights. Ahhhhh my childhood was great! Anyway, back to the colour. It stayed purple for a while until i realised that lots of other people liked purple too. It was like suddenly realising everyone was dressing exactly like me...and that was not right, i had to be different! So i changed my colour to one i didn't know anyone else liked. My new colour is red. I love red in all shades and i think i will stick with it since i've had it for so long. I have a red toothbrush, red clothes, a red and silver mobile phone. Red is my State colour too! I had a red(maroon) bridesmaid dress at my sisters wedding. Even my computer hard drive is red!

I'm sure i've read somewhere that colours reflect your personality. Red is such a strong and confident colour....which is the opposite of me but something to work towards. Its also a sexy colour.....yep, opposite of me too. Its feisty.....maybe i can be feisty, who knows! Maybe red doesn't really describe my personality and i should be something like......brown but i love it just the same!

The Love Tunnel

I'm sure everyone has one of these in their town in some shape or form. A place that kids come to write their secret and not so secret loves. For me it was the love tunnel. It is located in a town called Beerburrum where i used to live up until i was 12. If you follow the dirt track that runs beside the school towards the cemetary you will find it. The actual tunnel is just a cement drainage thing so that the little creek can flow under the road. So on Monday my husband and i made the trek and we visited the 'love tunnel'. You see i'd never written anything in there and i thought it was about time. And considering i now had a love and being Valentines Day the next day, i thought it was fitting that i write in there who i love. Now its etched on stone!

The green eyed monster has a name and that name is .......

Andrea. Yep, thats right. I am the green eyed monster. My sister used to say that jealousy is a curse and i have to agree with her. I have discovered in these almost 3 short years of marriage that i am an insanely jealous person. I never noticed it before, maybe i wasn't before and marriage has brought out the worst in me. Who knows.

What, you might ask, am i jealous of? Well, just about everything. You can ask my husband, i'm sure he will tell you i am competely nuts. And it might very well be true. I am not proud of my problem and it is indeed a problem. It stops me from being truely happy. Hopefully i will be able to sort out my feelings and why i'm having them.

I have this friend. Well, she is a friend in the way that we see each other every few months and we have a chat and we occasionally invite her and her husband over for dinner, they occasionally forget and occasionally they remember to come. lol I actually like them very much and i wish we spent more time together but i am so jealous of her! Its crazy. She is like the perfect woman. Shes a couple of years older then me and the mother of 2 girls and a boy due next month. She is pretty, smart and can speak Japanese. She served a mission in Japan. She quilts and scrapbooks very well - I saw samples of her stuff up on the walls of a scrapbooking shop in town. She sings beautifully, she is always in the church choirs and gets solo parts. She has a craft morning at her house so that friends and people from church can come and do there little projects and have fun and talk - I was invited once but i was pregnant and tired and i slept in and wasn't invited again. Oh and my dh had a huge crush on her.
She seems to be everything i am not and everything i would like to be.

Then there are houses. Yes, i am jealous of everyone who has there own house. Insanely jealous. Everytime i see the crazy mess that is my kitchen i curse those woman who have a nice kitchen of there own. Mine is a crazy mess because we don't have enough cupboard space, so one corner is piled with boxes of my dinnerware and other kitchen stuff. We moved in October last year and yes, it's still packed because of our lack of anywhere to put it. Our appliances live on the stove and the ironing board. When we need to use the stove they go on the ironing board and when we need to use the ironing board they go on the stove. Thus the reason i now have melted plastic on one of my hotplates. *warning: do not turn on the hotplate where your electric jug is sitting*
My breadmaker lives on the floor until i need to use it. My kitchen is my main gripe though my bathroom comes a close second. Its small and a family of cockaroaches live in there. One day i will manage to eliminate them. I would love to decorate but the lack of money and that fact that this isn't my house prevent it.
You would think that i would be more thankful for what i have, considering what i lived in while i was in my teens.













Yep that was my house when i was about 13. My mum, my sister and I slept in the shed and my brother in the tent and my dad on a fold out bed, you can just see it on the left, under the awning of leaves. We only lived in that for a couple of months before my dad built another shed that had 4 rooms - 2 bedrooms(one for me and my sister to share and one for my parents, my brother slept in the living room) a living/kitchen and the bathroom which wasn't attached to the main 'house' . Still had dirt floors but we went up in the world by having a wood stove instead of a hollowed out termit nest. I don't have a pic unfortunately.

We lived in that for a few years until my dad built our proper house. It was like luxury! a cement floor instead of dirt, my own room(my sister and brother moved out)
and well.....it was like a proper house, except for the carpet hanging down for walls and our bathroom was still outside. We even had a flush toilet! I lived there until i moved interstate at the age of 19.
This is what it looks liked like last year during the process to make it a REAL house, like the kind other people live in. My dad died before he could finish it.

This is why i can't understand my jealousy of houses. I mean, c'mon, anyone want to volunteer to live like that for 6 years??? It was a great learning experience for us, it made us appreciate things. Everytime someone complained about anything i used to think....what is wrong with you??? you have no idea what its like to rough it. Now i have turned!! I'm that person complaining. How did this happen?
I think what happened is that while i was living the good life in the city for 4 years after i moved out of home, i changed my opinion of what was important in life. Is it seriously about what kind of house i live in? Is it about whether or not i can paint my walls the colour i want? Is it about that fact that someone might have better skills then me? Or can speak a foreign language? No. Its not. Its about being comfortable with who i am. It is finding happiness with what i have in my life. So what if i have to move the appliances off the stove several times a day - I have a loving husband and a gorgous son. We have sufficient for our needs and some of our wants...ok for some of dhs wants ;) We own our own car and by the end of this year we should be debt free.

Then we can work towards getting that house......

My Fully Sick Greek Chick

A few weeks ago i recieved a package in the mail. I opened it up and there was a birthday card and a box full of homemade choc chip oatmeal cookies. Inside the card was a wonderful letter sending Birthday and Christmas greeting. If you haven't already realised, it has been more then a month since Christmas and about 4 months since my birthday. No, the package wasn't lost in the mail and just magically showing up now - my friend, my Fully Sick Greek Chick had only just posted it. It only takes 2 days to get from her place to mine. You see my friend is a little absent minded. Though i really think that she just has so much to do that she forgets to do things.

I'm not a great writer so all that i wanted to say about her is probably not going to come out right. I love my friend for so many reasons. She's easy to talk to, she listens, she advises, she sees things in a different way then i do. She's spiritual and i can talk to her about anything. She served a mission and returned home a better and wiser person(though she still can't do things on time!) she held my hand when we gave blood- i never knew that getting a huge needle poked in my arm could be so much fun! She's charitiable, she brought me pizza and helped make my wedding dress, she helped me decorate my apartment for my wedding night since dh and i couldn't afford to stay somewhere nice. She sent me the coolest Antonio Banderas poster from Greece when she was on her mission. She finished Uni successfully and is now holding down 2 jobs and a very full social calender. Oh and she crochets everything from socks to beanies! She sounds great, right?

I lived with her and her single mother for a month and it was the craziest experience of my life!
Other then all those wonderful attributes i listed she's also a loudmouth, she talks non-stop! She is neurotic and obsessive. She over-anaylizes everything! She can't cook for anything(even 20mths in the mission field didn't help much!) and she fights way too much with her mother. They fight because they are so much alike, its not funny.
I've known her for about 6 years and she has accomplished so much in her life and i'm totally proud of her and a little jealous. But she is my very best friend and if she was any other way she just wouldn't be Kiki.

Oh.....and if you know any single guys wanting a 23 yr old, greek, loudmouthed, non-domestic, crazy, wonderful woman just let me know. And i'll even throw in the MIL as a bonus........

I'm tagged. Thanks Misty!

Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

1) ScienceWoman
2) Professor Me
3) Musical Mom
4) My Inner Aria
5) fountainescapades
Next select five people to tag:

1) Becky
2) Sunny
3) Rachelle
4) Onica
5) Linsey

What were you doing 10 years ago? I had to come back and edit this part. What i was actually doing 10 years ago was....i had finished high school in Nov 1995 and i was bludging, i was unemployed and i never got into the TAFE course i wanted to do. So i went on the dole. Nice ey?

What were you doing 1 year ago? I had just started treatment for PPD which i had been suffering from for 11 mths. We were also trying to build my parents house so that my Dad had something nice to come home to when he got out of hospital. He had cancer and died in March, he never came home.

Five snacks you enjoy:
1. Chocolate
2. Fruit and nut mix
3. Corn chips and salsa
4. Jatz and dip
5. Ice Cream

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
1. Twinkle Twinkle little star
2. Incy Wincy Spider
3. Poisen by Alice Cooper ;)
4. The songs off Ethans Thomas dvd
5. A few random other songs.....its hard to just pick 5!

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:

1. Buy a house.
2. Get my citizenship.
3. Donate an air conditioning unit for the Maternity Ward of my local hospital
4. Get our car repainted
5. Get my hair done

Five bad habits:

1. Biting my nails
2. Making my dh feel guilty
3. Negativity
4. Junk food
5. Staying up too late

Five things you like doing:

1. Reading
2. Painting
3. Making things that make my home homley
4. Spending time with my little family
5. Taking long drives

Five things you would never wear again:

1. Track pants with straps that go under your feet
2. A tank top in public
3. Shoes that make my feet ache
4. Calottes (not sure of that spelling)
5. a nappy ;)

Five favorite toys:

1. my mobile phone
2. my air conditioner
3. my computer
4. my scrapbooking software
5. my son

New Shoes

I love new shoes! These are the first new shoes i have ever bought Ethan. He has new slippers and new gumboots but never new shoes. He was so excited. He can say shoes now...though he says it 'sooooooos'

Simple Pleasures

Anyone who has a toddler will know how hard it is sometimes to get them to eat. Ethan started his 'starvation' diet when he was about maybe 18mths old. He just refused to eat anything other the Soho Nacho crackers. Joy. He would throw a fit when he couldn't have them. So after a few months of him not eating i finally thought that maybe if we weaned him off the crackers then he might eat some real food. He's a skinny little thing and i didn't want him getting sick or anything. I thought too that his behaviour might have something to do with all the artifical flavours etc he was eating.....nope, just normal apparently!
So anyway, we started the weaning process, i cut it down to only 2 Soho snacks between meals and if he didn't eat his food then he got nothing. He started eating a little more. Then i just went cold turkey and stopped buying them. He still didn't start eating much more then what he had been. A bit of fruit, toast and museli bars were his main diet.

Then, here's where the simple pleasure comes in, after christmas he decided he is hungry again!!!! YAY!!! Now he is eating everything! He will even eat meat and raw vegies - like carrot sticks and zucchini, grapes, apples, plums, he eats noodles and pizza! Its amazing.
I am so happy that he is eating again. He even gained a kilo (2lbs) since christmas! I'm not quite sure what a kid his age should weigh but i'm glad that he's putting on weight.

I feel relieved when he sits in his high chair and starts chowing down!

Well i managed to do all my to-do list yesterday! I finished at 10.30pm but thats ok.
This is what i did:

• vaccumed living room
• sweep kitchen/dining floor
• clean spilt pinapple juice off floor and train table! ick
• wash dishes
• wash 1 load of washing and hang to dry
• took dry washing off line
• clean bathroom just enough so that it wasn't embarassing for guests coming over
• dusted
• yoga - only 15 minutes though
• folded a huge amount of clean laundry - didn't get it quite finished
• made 9 smocks
• cooked dinner and entertained my sis, bil and their 4 kids...oh and my mum.
• prepared nursery lesson
• general tidy up of the whole house

No wonder i was exhausted. I just want to go somewhere and die now....or have a really long sleep!

I never thought i would have trouble coping as a mum. I never thought it would be easy, that is just stupid but i always thought i would cope ok. I mean, everyone else seems to be ok, right?
Its coming up to 2 years since Ethan was born. And i'm finding out everyday that i am not coping. The older he gets the harder it is. Well maybe it was always hard but now the problems are different.

When he was born it was the sleeping issue. He wouldn't sleep well, he had to be rocked or nursed to sleep. So i would spend hours upon hours in the middle of the night rocking him in his pram. Sometimes he would wake up every 1 1/2 hours all throught the night.
The poor little tyke spent about the first 6 mths sleeping in his pram. Now he sees it and starts crying. No wonder. He never started sleeping through the night until he was over 1 yr. I want to slap those mothers who brag because their 6 wk old baby is sleeping through.He also screamed alot because he had horrible wind.

Now its the tantrums. His tantrums started at about 8mths ,much to our horror. So much for the 'terrible twos'. He pretty much hasn't stopped since then. The more indepentant he became the more tanties he would throw. He went through the phase that getting his nappy changed was like trying to pull teeth! Almost impossible. As soon as i picked him up he would start trying to head butt me, then if that didn't work(because i would dodge him) he would start slapping me in the face or biting me on the shoulder. Of course once i got him on his change table he would kick me several times in the stomach and struggle the whole time while i changed his nappy. Repeat this procedure about 4-5 times a day and you have one very annoyed mum. He has settled down in the last couple of weeks when it comes to his nappy changing. I am trying to toilet train him a bit, well, at least get him to tell me when he's done a poo. He actually, a couple of times, has grabbed my hand and taken me to the change table so i can change it! Hopefully the days of being beaten up by my toddler are over. He also bangs his head on the ground when he's upset. The other day he did it because we were out on the deck and i went inside to make him lunch. I hear a huge bang and lots of crying. I went out and he had this huge mark on his forehead. It was blood under the skin. He almost always has a bruise on there. I have tried to help him so that he wont do that, but obviously i know nothing because he still does it all the time.

My husband at present is in hospital, having had his appendix taken out today. So after spending 5 hours in Emergency last night, most of that time with a cranky, tired and sometimes screaming toddler i am ready to tear my hair out. There was a women in there with her 4 daughters waiting for hours. She didn't look frazzled at all!! And here i was just struggling with one! My mum and my husband were there with me and i still felt like i just can't cope!
What on earth is wrong with me?
My house is a mess and to be honest Ethan is so demanding that i find it hard to get everything i need to do everyday done and have decent 'me' time. I have a 'to do' list on my fridge. It has been there since i think wednesday, its now friday night (11.18pm according to my computer clock)and i have only 2 things crossed off it. They were all supposed to be done on wednesday.
Oh and tomorrow i have 13 smocks to make to be ready for sunday! Lucky me.
I think i just need to go into a small room and scream my lungs out. Maybe that would make me feel better.

Australia Day

Tomorrow is Australia Day. Its the day we celebrate being Australian.

If you know me at all you will know that i was not born in Australia. I was born in New Zealand. And although i have Australian parents there was a misunderstanding and i wasn't registered as such so i am actually a NZ citizen. I have lived here for 25 years and class myself as an Aussie even though i don't have that piece of paper that says i am and i can't vote. 14,000+ people will take the plunge and become Aussies tomorrow. I wish i was one of them.

Why i love Australia
















Its beauty - it covers everything from beach to desert. I love everything! The mountains and the rainforests and the wide open space! Its just truely beautiful.

This pic was taken last year. It is the most easterly part of Australia, at Byron Bay. From this vantage point you can see whales and dolphins.

















Its culture - we are a multicultural country. And as such alot of things were bought in to add to the mix and to add to the fun!

This pic is the only thing i could find that had something to do with culture! lol It's the Kuranda train from North Queensland. The Cairns/Kuranda area has a lot of Aboriginal touristy places. And as you can see the train is painted with Aboriginal paintings.
















Its animals - although we have lots of dangerous 'i can kill you' animals like snakes, spiders, crocodiles and sharks we have lots of cute n' cuddly animals like kangaroos, koalas, platypus, wombats, bilbys, emus....ok they aren't all cute or cuddly but i still like them!

This was taken at Australia Zoo in 2003. I was about 5mths pregnant. While kangaroos are cute and you can pat them in the zoo they can attack you and cause all sorts of nasty injuries so please don't try and pat them in the wild!
















Its Flora - we have some beautiful plants here. Gums trees are great! They provide shade and you can play music on their leaves, pretty cool! lol

This is a banksia flower.
















Its people - I personally think Queensland people are more friendly then anyone else in Australia with Sydney people coming dead last! But real Australians are laid back, down to earth, hard working people, who only want to have a go. If you treat people with respect, they will treat you the same way. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule but i think they are being un -Australian!

This is my husband relaxing on South Stradbroke Island. Its a hard life huh?



I truely love Australia, and there isn't anywhere i would rather be! And hopefully soon i might even be a REAL Australian!

There are times that i miss being single. You know when you've have enough and just want to be by yourself. I've had a few of those days lately but what i realised is that i didn't miss being single i just missed being in control.
My days seems very out of control. I can't control my husband, i can't control my son and sometimes i can't control my irritation that seems to be controlling me most of the time.
But with all that i have some wonderful moments in my life. This morning as i was lying in bed trying to drag myself out of sleep....it takes a while, i was jumped on my my bubba boy. He layed on top on me, with his face really close to mine and then planted a big fat kiss! And contined to kiss me ' mmmmmmmmmmmm ahhhhhhhhhhhhh' until i was laughing so hard that i couldn't take it anymore. He really is the most beautiful thing i have ever seen.
Don't ask me how the rest of the day is going.......it was all down hill from there................

Friends....

As i was thinking of what i could write about today and as i was reading what others had written on my posts and as i was reading my friends blogs i realised that that is what i wanted to talk about today. Friends.

Growing up i only had a few friends. I was never a popular person, i guess that was because i was a bit reserved. What others would call shy. Though i have always hated that word and refused to use it when it came to describing my personality. I am not a shy person, i just sit back and assess the situation and comment if needed.
When i got to high school i had to make all new friends because noone i knew from Primary School was going to the same High School as me. It was tough but i soon found some friends, and it helped that my very BEST friend was there - my older sister! Chrissii is 2 years older then me, so even though i was in year 8 and she was a year 10er she still hung out with me and i hung out with her friends too on the occasion.
We moved after year 8 and when we went to our new school it was just us and we both had no friends. We quickly adapted however and enjoyed the rest of our school years. We are still best friends and i doubt nothing will ever change that.

After i finished school i tried to keep in touch with my friends but eventually one by one we fell out of touch. I was unemployed, lived at home, in the country and my sister had got married and moved away. I was pretty bummed. I was depressed and lonely.
Eventually i moved to live with my sister and her husband. Best thing i ever did!!! They lived in Canberra ACT and it was fantastic! I lived there for 4 years (3 with my sister). I made some great friends who i love dearly. I met my husband and moved back to QLD, in a town where i knew noone but my husband.
Back to being lonely. I still kept in touch with my Canberra friends but it just wasn't the same. Then i discovered this wonderful thing........

Internet forums.

Since i am an active member of my church and at the time i was pregnant with Ethan i found a forum of LDS members, mainly women and mums. It was fantastic. I got to talk to women of my faith about pregnancy and babies and about church. It was really helpful and i made a couple of friendships. I eventually left that board a joined a new private one. This has been the best thing ever!
I have managed to make a few friends in my new area but to be honest, i have much better friends online. I hope they don't mind me mentioning this. Since i'm sure they are the only ones who read my blog! lol
They have helped me i my life so much. They inspired me, they pick me up when i'm down, they encourage me when i'm tettering on the brink of breaking my diet. They give me suggestions when i need help with something and most of all they show love for someone they have not met in person. Most of these wonderful ladies live in the US. I have plans to visit them one day. Maybe i should have put that on my 'seven things to do before i die' list. ;)
They probably don't know how much they mean to me. I am serious when i say they are the very best friends i have ever had.

I love you girls!

Dieting.....

I think i have been dieting all of my adult non-pregnant life. In all that time i have been successful twice in obtaining my goal. Its such a fantastic feeling to look in the mirror and like what you see. At the moment i don't.
I have 10kgs to lose all up but at the moment i am working on losing 5. I would love to be 5kgs lighter before i get pregnant again.
I have a subscription to a Slimming and Health magazine. Full of tips and recipes and exercises to lose your butt. I found a nice section on celebrity diets that apparently work. It was in the 'beach body' section and apparently i can lose 6kgs in 6 weeks.
There are 3 diets to choose from. The first one can make me look like J.Lo, the second like Angelina Jolie and the third like Liz Hurley. I chose the second plan 'The Grazing Diet' since it looked like the best one for me, though i'm hoping since Angelina does this diet that my fat will not be displaced to my lips. They are fine as they are thank you very much!

I can't stand diets that have weird food that i have to go out and buy ....like chickpeas and hommus and stone ground wheat. The theory behind The Grazing Diet is that i eat 6 small meals a day to keep my blood sugar level and so my body doesn't go into starvation mode. And the food plan is actually very sensible and i don't have to buy weird food. It also doesn't make me feel like my throat has been cut.
I'm on day 4 and although i cheated a bit yesterday i am doing good.
When i started i weighed in a 71kgs and this morning i was teetering between 69.5 and 70kgs but finally rested at 70....darn digital scales! lol
I am feeling optisitic that this is actually working though. Today when i went to have my 10am snack i wasn't even feeling hungry yet.....
I'll be looking terrific in no time!

My husband Graham has two passions. Trains and photography. Luckily they go hand in hand. You can't go and see a train unless you take photos of it. Lots of photos. Black and white photos. Colour photos. Slides......don't get me started on the types of film one can use to take a photo of a train!
You would think it would be as simple as whipping the ol' digital out and snapping away. But nooooo, theres a whole science behind it that i am not about to go into. For two reasons. 1. I don't want to talk about it and 2. I have no idea what that science is. Graham tries to tell me but it goes way over my head.
Photography is not what i wanted to talk about today. I want to talk about trains.

Graham loves trains. Sometimes i think he loves them more then he loves me. He assures me he doesn't but when one wakes up to the tooting of a train horn and not to the sound of undying love being whispered into my ear, i have to wonder.
He has a train driving simulator on his laptop. So he's being driving trains for the last couple of nights now. Its fun but i would lose interesting after having one go. But that is because i am not passionate about trains.
He has a model railway downstairs which is kinda cool. I like miniture things so its ok....as long as its downstairs and i don't have to look at it everyday. We have a huge picture of a train on our living room wall. It is one he took and had enlarged at work. He also has the same photo as a background on his laptop.
We spend weekends chasing trains. Yes, chasing them. He finds out when steam trains are going to be running and then we chase them all over the place and take photos. Well he takes photos, i usually sit in the car bored stiff. Did i mention that we went to the train museum for my birthday last year? No, well that was great. For MY birthday we go to a train museum. Nice one darl!

And like father like son. Our son Ethan loves trains! It must be in the blood or something. He has a Thomas the Tank Engine set. Engines, track, tunnel, bridge, station. He still has a lot to get and i swear those are the only toys he's getting ever! He would rather play with a train then any other toy. His daddy just made him a 4ftx4ft train table! It takes up half his bedroom! lol But he loves it. He spends hours just playing. He also loves watching Thomas on tv. So he has 2 dvds and 2 videos that he has borrowed from my sister. Needless to say that is all that we watch. Graham now sings the songs around the house almost without thinking. Its kinda sad.

He also loves our weekend trips chasing trains. You should see his face light up when he sees a train! Its like christmas! Of course he can't say 'train' yet but he says 'toot toot' and 'Percy' which is just super cute.

I think it is great that he has such an interest in something even though the hours of being forced to play trains and watch Thomas is getting on my nerves and slowing driving me insane.

Seven things to do before i die:

• attend a State of Origin where QLD wins....well i hope i have alot of time left ok..it could happen!!
• pay off the damn credit card
• buy a house
• go to Paris
• have more babies
• more road trips with my dh and kids
• learn the guitar

Seven things i cannot do:

• tell a lie to someones face
• remember the cords for the guitar! lol
• justify paying someone money for something i can do myself
• remember the last time i went swimming!
• go a day without telling my husband i love him
• get organised enough to scrapbook
• i cannot ever be as smart as my husband

Seven things that attract me to my spouse (not necessarily in this order!):

• His broad shoulders
• His intelligence
• His height
• His sense of humour
• His passion for his hobbies
• The fact that he's 6 years older then me and i like older men ;)
• He loves me....so i love him back

Seven things i say(or write) most often:

• Ethaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!
• Don't hit!
• I love you
• My name (write)
• Do you need to sit on the potty?
• Do you need snacks?
• Ethan what are you doing?

Seven books i love:

• Lord of the Rings
• Much Ado About Nothing
• Pride and Prejudice
• The Book of Mormon
• Jesus the Christ
• The Glass Lake
• The Copper Beech

Seven movies i could watch over and over again:

• Bloodsport
• The Castle
• Yentl
• Pride and Prejudice
• Dirty Dancing
• Lord of the Rings trilogy
• The Dish

Seven people i want to join in:

ummmmm....not sure...whoever! lol

I just wanted to check in just so that i keep a regular thing going on here. But unfortunately i have bad news. I am 99.999999999999% sure i have miscarried. My dr seems to be holding onto some sliver of hope but i know i my heart that i am not pregnant anymore. I am still going through the process of trying to confirm it. Not sure why i don't just get another ulrasound but anyways.....i am going the blood testing route to check my hormone levels. Yesterday apparently they weren't really indicating anything. Figures. If my body needs to do something it usually does it the hardest way possible.

But i am feeling quite a peace with what has happened. Obviously quite sad and devestated at the same time but i'm optimistic that we will have a healthy baby soon.

A New Year

Yes, I know i'm 4 days late but better late then never, right? Well what to say about the new year....i'm really glad that its here! The past year has been horrible. My dad died in March from cancer, i had PND and finally got treatment in January after suffering for 11 mths. We have had sickness after sickness go through the family. We moved house and had trouble with the Real Estate. But on good news - my sister had a baby and i got pregnant! I swear those are the only 2 things that happened this year that can go in the good news catagory.
BUT that year is over and a new one has begun. Which brings me to New Years Resolutions. When i was in my late teens and early 20's my resolutions consited of 2 mains things......get a boyfriend/husband and lose weight (I was one of those reject girls who never got a boyfriend until she was 23, acutally i was a month off begin 24)
So those 2 resolutions never got accomplished until i was 23. That year i went from a size 16 to a 12 and was feeling pretty good, then i got a boyfriend and ultimately a husband (yes i married my first boyfriend).
So...now what other goals can i set for myself?

I still stuggles with my weight. I put on 19kgs when i was pregnant with my ds. After i had him and my weight settled down i was 7kgs overweight. I managed to lose 7 kgs and was almost down to size12 again. Then came some medication that made me gain weight no matter what i did. I swear i could of stopped eating and i'd still gain. So i gained 5kgs back before going off the meds. And then i got pregnant. Very planned and wonderful but still heavier then i would like to be. I'm only 5'3 so every kg is very noticable! So, my goal is just to eat healthier this pregnancy and to exercise...if summer ever leaves! Oh and then i'm joining the gym after i give birth.
My second goal is to spend more time teaching my ds. While TV is such a good babysitter i know it's not the best thing for him.
I'd also like to go on more dates with my husband. We hardly go out alone so i would like to do that more.
I'd like to spend more time improving myself and working on my spirituality

So those are my goals for this year. We will see how it goes!

Shopping. That is what i want to rant about today.

I decided that i had had enough of not having decent summer clothes to wear. I hardly had any short sleeve shirts and wearing long sleeves in summer is not great. I also needed another pair of shorts or capris. Since i only have one pair. So i head out to the mall. It is full of shops catering to the very thin and immodest. Definately NOT me! I need things with sleeves and something that covers my knees and my fat rolls. So i head up to Target thinking, well....even very modest fat people can shop there right? no, think again! I didn't think i was terribly overweight in comparison to other people. I'm a 16 if you wondering. But do you think i could find a size 16 t-shirt???? NO. Not unless i wanted something frumpy without any shape that probably said on the tag 'one size fits all' meaning 'you too fat for nice clothes...here's a tent instead'. And don't even get me started on the skimpiness of some clothes! What i would consider a belt is now actually a skirt these days.
So there i go from one shop to the next, to the next. I finally found a t-shirt in Katies, whos sizes tend to run a bit large. Hallilujah!!
But, more problems...what to do about the bottom. The funny thing about me is that when i gain weight i put it all on my stomach...such a great look! So i'm a 16 around the middle and probably a 12/14 everywhere else. Of course they don't make clothes that caters to freaks like me, so i've got to go for a fitted waist with legs and bum that i could fill with oranges. Paula Duncan eat your heart out!
So i didn't end up finding any shorts. I guess i may have to visit Vinnies for last season or even last decade stuff or wait til i can buy maternity.
And another thing....no i'm not finished yet! Cost.....am i the only one that thinks that anything over $10 is too much for a shirt???? For the record i managed to get my t-shirt for about $8 because everything was half price if i joined their free club...sounds like a good deal to me! Most things were anywhere from $15 to $30.
Sheesh, do they think everyone has money to burn!

Well Christmas is over for another year and i am heaving a sigh of relief. I was all geared up for a fantastic time, never mind the weather.

Our weekend would start on Christmas Eve. We would gather together and watch the Carols by Candellight on TV. Christmas is not Christmas without Ray Martin and Humphrey B Bear! Then we would watch our church's Christmas Devotional and then tuck up in bed to await the magic of Christmas morning. On Christmas morning we would wake up and read the Christmas story out of the Bible and watch our son gleefully open presents. Attend church at 9am and then come home to enjoy the day together and eat a nice lunch of chicken and salad. In the evening we would watch The Nativity or some other Christmas movie. On Boxing Day we had planned a big family day. I had the turkey and the prawns and all the salads and the desserts. How wonderful it would be to just spend the day together and eat ourselves silly.

However this is not how it turned out. In my last post i mentioned that our son had tonsillitis. This progressed over the weekend and just seemed to be getting worse. Christmas Eve was spent with Ray and Humphrey but we didn't watch the Christmas Devotional. We spent the night up with Ethan. He still had a fever and spent the night screaming and then falling asleep every 10 minutes and screaming and more sleeping. Needless to say when we woke up the next morning the last thing on our minds was going to church. I was really disappointed but i don't think i could have mustered up the strength to go. We opened presents and Ethan wasn't that enthused, but i don't blame him!
Chrismtas night was spent in much the same way as the night before. Except my wonderful husband slept on the couch with Ethan so that i could get some sleep(after all i needed to be up at 6am to cook a turkey!) He had a pretty rough night with him.
In the morning mum helped with the food prep. Who would have thought that the smell of raw turkey could upset a pregnant stomach?!
Ethan was getting worse, he was having trouble walking and was shaking and jerking. I decided that there had to something else wrong other then tonsillitis and made an appointment at the afterhours clinic(it was a public holiday so our regular dr wasn't open). My husbands family turned up at about 9.30 or so and we had time to say hi before taking off to the drs.
His tonsillitis was cleared up and apparently the jerking etc was because he wasn't getting enough nutrients but the dr wanted a blood test anyway. Which, considering the 2 public holidays after the weekend would mean we would have to wait until Wednesday! It wouldn't want to be urgent now, would it?
The rest of the day went on ok. My sister, bil and their brood turned up before lunch and the festivities began. Other the the horrible heat which our air conditioner did nothing to help with, the day from then on went well. The food was good and i ate way too much for my tummy to be confortable with....of course anything over about 10 bites of food is uncomfortable at the moment. Bring on the 3rd trimester when i can eat everything!!!!!!!!!!
Anyways, back to christmas......after dinner we had a Santa pinata(time for the kids to beat santa for not bringing what they wanted). That was one tough pinata, it took my husband and a plank of wood to bring Santa down! As it turned out he got decapitated! there was enough lollies in there to feed about 30 kids....great for the 4 kids that were able to eat lollies! And for my bil who is a lolly maniac and always has to have a supply for church. I spent last night on the couch since hubbie had to be back at work today and he needed a good nights sleep. It was a better night with only a few wakings. I think he's finally on the mend.

I'm glad there is another year before i have to think of anything remotely Christmas!