Tuesday, May 02, 2006

One husband...*cough*...pair of shoes 4 sale.

They say that woman are hard to figure out. Of course 'they' are probably men who have no desire to find out what woman are all about and just dismiss it as some strange phenomena that noone will ever get to the bottom of, kinda like Nessie and Bigfoot.
But you know what? I am here to say today that woman are not so complex as men. Yes, you heard me. I think most women will agree that if you have a question about something that we as woman do, if you just ask we can explain it to you, in easy to understand words. You won't even need a dictionary, i swear!
Now men on the other hand are different. After 3 years of marriage i am finding this out little by little....ok and maybe a big bit right at the start when i had some culture shock. There is nothing that can help me understand the reasoning behind how men think. Seriously, it boggles the brain to think about it.
If your wondering why i'm writing such a post, let me tell you. It stems of course from my wonderful, beloved husband(i have to write that because he reads my blog ;)) and the fact that i can't figure out how his brain works.

He has a pair of shoes. Jandles we call them, not sure why....but they are essentially what was commonly called Reef Sandles back in the days when they came out. They are the kind you can wear at the beach because they can go in water and sand and you can just hose them off or whatever to clean them. Very practical and cool to wear in summer. Now i generally would not have a problem with my Dh wearing shoes like this, except for one thing. The smell. On a scale of 1 -10, 10 being reserved for something like a rotting human body(not that i've smelt that, but i'm sure its pretty bad), these shoes get a 9.5. I have never smelled anything like it in my life.

Now here comes the fun bit.

My dh doesn't think its bad. Half the time he can't even smell it! So he's walking through the house with this smell eminating from him and he's oblivious. How can this be?? My complex female brain doesn't understand. What is even harder to understand is that he gags at the smell of a pooey nappy.
Even with my very sensitive pregnant nose, a nappy is nothing compared to these. Even at my most sickest with morning sickness, i could still change nappies. Of course i had to. Dh couldn't because they make him too sick. But get these shoes in the house and i'm feeling sick and Dh? Well you would think he had roses strapped to his feet.
Of course once i complain, he takes them off and then washes his feet but i can still smell it....everywhere. Its like a gas leak. It gets in everything. Only some heavy duty Glen 20 and washing the sheets gets the smell away. Washing the sheets? you may ask. Yes, once he wore them while lying on the bed! I can't remember exactly what i said to make him take them off but i'm sure if i find him doing that again i'm going to blow my stack.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

So, can you see why i think men are more complex? They can be around horrible smells, they can even make horrible smells and delight in it. But get them near a stinky baby and its like you've asked them to cut off their left arm and hit themselves over the head with it.

* Note: I wouldn't really sell my husband....unless you paid me heaps.


emlouisa said...

You are SOOOOOOO pregnant. lol! Tell Big G that I said to get rid of the shoes!!!! :)

Sunny said...

LOL!!! Those shoes need to be soaked in bleach or something, yuck!

Rachelle said...

Those shoes need to be quarantined and disposed of. Yuck!

Lei said...

I *think* he may be just trying to get out of changing diapers.

Just a hunch... ;)

Because he has to know they smell. Before you even wrote what it was you were talking about, I knew. Lol!

Andrea said...

Lei - he has vomited before from changing a nappy. lol

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